Our beloved Dexter

For all of those who are close to us I felt I should share that today, we lost our cat Dexter. He was 14 years old and really was a wonderful cat. He put up with so much from our kids and they will miss him dearly! I know this is not surro- related but I wanted to share the news with family and friends in the easiest way possible. I never thought it would hurt this bad but I am devastated and so scared to tell the kids when we get home soon. They are going to be heartbroken! We love you Dexter and hope you are in a better place!

Sick, Sick, Sick!!!!

It was a long weekend where I felt sick about 80% of the time! I seriously think it must be because of the extra hormones I am on like the Estrace and Vivelle patches that might be putting me over the edge. I guess we'll see if things improve because my last day of taking those was yesterday. I don't really feel queasy yet this morning- but it is early! I might have had some type of bug in addition to the pregnancy sickness too because I have spent most of my weekend in the bathroom. I have heard something like that is going around so that certainly did not help things. I haven't been eating much of a dinner at all lately because my stomach is so sick by that time of the day. I can't drink anything except OJ, Water and Lemonade. Every other liquid makes me nauseous. No cravings at all yet. Just food aversions. Nothing- and I mean NOTHING ever sounds good. Maybe this is a good thing so I don't gain a ton of weight!

On a better note- I was able to meet R & S's son "baby B" on Thursday. He is so sweet and just adorable! It was great to hold him and smell that wonderful newborn smell. It was great to spend time with R too! Too bad it was so short because it was during work hours for me.

We are now 8 weeks along and are looking forward to my first OB appointment on Wed. 10/15. I finally got around to adding a baby ticker to tell more details about the growth each week. It is strange though because this ticker is one day off of the black and white one I already downloaded onto the site. Oh well! Also, I spiced up the blog a bit by adding some of my favorite tunes. Thanks to my friend Jen for always being a step ahead of the game in the blog world so I can copy!!! :)

Funny thing to share

The other day at dinner we were reading these cute cards from Carson's 1st grade class which encourage families to talk and share feelings at mealtime. One of the cards asked "If you get new neighbors, what could you do to make them feel more welcome?" Carson said right away "We could make a baby for them!". Al and I thought that was so cute and so sweet! I just had to share.

Update on me- I am 7 weeks now and still feeling pretty sick most of the time. Yesterday morning was rough but then it got better until the evening. I had yogurt and a bagel for dinner thinking it was something pretty bland and light for my stomach, but nope- it made me feel horrible! This morning I was pretty queasy again but at this minute- I am feeling ok. Keep your fingers crossed that this goes away soon. I guess I forgot at how tough this part can be. Plus- no one knows what we are doing yet at work so I am sitting here in meetings planning out how I can run to the bathroom every time I feel nauseous! I am going crazy! I am not complaining- just sharing the truth. I know it's all for a good cause and is only temporary.

Updates and final beta number

I just heard from the RE office- my beta number from yesterday was 24,232 (at 27 days past a 5 day transfer.) My progesterone level dropped AGAIN to 6.96. I have no idea why it is fluctuating so much since I have not missed a single time of the NASTY suppositories. The nurse said they are still not concerned with my low number since everything else is right on track. She also gave me some good news- there is an end in site for the drugs and patches. YIPPEE! I will stop taking the Estrace pills and the patches completely on Monday, 9/29. Unfortunately I have to continue using the suppositories until 10/13. I finally got the clearance for exercise and the other "extra curricular activities" my husband has been so patiently waiting for. Although- I must say, with the crinone suppositories- it just doesn't sound like fun. Not to mention I feel like I am going to throw up all day long. Poor, poor Al!

2nd Ultrasound and Other Updates

This morning I woke up and I was actually spotting which scared me since I have never had that happen this early in the pregnancy before. I did spot when I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter but it was all based on stress since my father was passing away at the time. So, needless to say, I was very anxious to get into my 11:30 appointment today to see what was happening. I was sitting there waiting for someone to come in the room so of course I read the computer screen which had my medical chart up. Last week's note said "Embryo in correct location within uterus, but no detection of yolk sac or heartbeat." So today, at 6 weeks and 3 days the ultrasound technician found a heart beat right away. The baby is measuring at a whopping 3 millimeters and had a heard rate of 114. Can you even believe that something that is only 3 millimeters big can make me feel sick? They did take blood too but I won't know the results until tomorrow afternoon on the new Beta #. I wasn't sure how it was going to feel seeing a heartbeat for a baby that is not mine, but it was actually good. I do care for this baby very much and want to help give it a life, but I didn't cry or feel connected when I saw it on the ultrasound screen. This is a good thing because of course I do not want to become too attached. I hope I still feel the same way after I start seeing the baby grow and feel kicks.

Since the beginning of the week- I have definitely started to feel pregnant! I have been nauseous throughout the day everyday. Nothing ever sounds good to eat and when I do finally eat, I have indigestion for hours. And the other day I was eating a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch and started gagging and dry heaving from it. You can bet I will not have another one of those for at least the next 9 months. I am starting to dislike my beloved caffeine free diet coke too. I haven't finished a whole can for the past week which is unusual for me. That happened to me too when I was pg with my daughter so maybe it's a sign?????

I will update with the beta numbers tomorrow if I get a chance.

HUGE, HUGE, HUGE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was debating if i should share this or not but I know it will come out eventually. And- it is happy news that should be celebrated by everyone that reads this blog.



As you all know, we found out on Saturday, 8/23 that we were pregnant with R & S's baby. A few hours after R and I talked on the phone that day, she called me back to tell me her news. No, she is not pregnant- but they found out that same day that a birth mother chose them to adopt her child. The birth mother is from Los Angeles and was due on 9/9. R & S had already planned a trip to L.A. a couple months ago to to visit family and were scheduled to depart on Thursday, 9/4. They received a call in the middle of the night on Monday, 9/1 (Labor Day) that they are now the parents of a healthy baby boy. They just arrived home at the end of last week with their new little prince. (Who we have yet to meet or see pictures of). :( We did get some over the cell phone but they are hard to see so we are anxiously awaiting the pictures or hopefully better yet- to meet him in person soon.

This is wonderful news for them to be able to start their family sooner than they thought. They always wanted 2 kids so now they are looking forward to their family being complete by early next year. I always say the best gift you can give your child is a sibling! And it's true- I feel so much better knowing the baby I am carrying will be going home to 2 loving parents and a big brother!

I am a bit concerned at telling our boys about the news and therefore haven't said anything yet. I think we'll wait to see if the opportunity comes up for them to meet baby "B" in person and then it may be easier to explain. They are still under the impression that we chose to help R & S have a baby because R's tummy was broken and they couldn't have a baby of their own so there will definitely be some explaining to do. I am sure the kids will accept the news fine, but its just one more thing to throw at them.


I am also worried how things may change now that a newborn is in the picture. I really want and need them to be a huge part of this pregnancy. I may be crazy to think this, but I feel like if they are part of it consistently- it will never feel like my own. However if I am left alone to carry their baby without them being there- I feel like it will start to feel like it is more of my pregnancy than theirs and I don't want that. Also, I want our kids to see R & S and get to know them as much as possible over the next 9 months because I feel like it will help them understand and accept the end result. I know they understand what is happening, but I want them to be happy and proud about it too and I know if they get a chance to know R & S better (and now baby B) it will be so much easier for them to accept. I just hope and pray that this is all still going to happen as originally planned. I know bringing a newborn home is a whole different ball game and I know R & S will much rather enjoy an afternoon nap then a visit from the 5 of us. So, we will just see what happens. Hopefully all will go smoothly for them as a new family at home and hopefully we can plan a visit or get together in the near future.

Congrats to R & S on your new son!!!!! God does make miracles!

4th Beta/ Ultrasound Today

I went in this morning for another internal ultrasound where I got to feel like a porn star again by inserting the foot long (and then some) camera into myself. Fun, Fun, Fun! I am happy at this office that the techs don't put it in themselves but I am not kidding when I say the thing is LONG! It doesn't really hurt though until she starts exploring sideways to check the ovaries. I feel so violated! Just kidding.

The technician was unable to see much because we are only 5.5 weeks right now. She was however able to confirm the gestational sac is in the right place and attached in my uterus. There was a extremely small dot that we kept seeing in the sac that she thought was the yolk sac but couldn't confirm if that was it or even if there were one or more babies yet.

Later in the afternoon, the RE office called and said things look right on schedule and that there is a singleton in the sac. So, that is a relief- even though part of me still wanted to experience carrying twins. A very small part of me!

I also found out the new beta number from today was 5658 and my progesterone level jumped to a WHOPPING 11.2!!!! Yippee! I know, that is not that high to get excited over but when you are looking at a 3.77 last Friday, the 11.2 looks like a miracle.

Next week sometime I will need to schedule another ultrasound and hopefully at that one we will be able to see the heartbeat. Hopefully R can make it to that appointment with me.

Until then, its still no exercise or other stuff with the hubbie. I swear if he still loves me after all this it will be another miracle.

3rd Beta

I went in on Monday for my 3rd beta and found out it jumped to 2167 which is good. As some of you know, we were worried all weekend about my progesterone levels since they were at 8.8 last Wednesday, but then dropped to 3.77 on Friday. After reading way too many things on the internet and freaking out all weekend, the RE's office said yesterday not to worry about Progesterone levels. My level yesterday was back up to 9.27. They said it is normal for the levels to fluctuate and also said I am unable to show a true number because the progesterone I am on currently is only in the form of suppositories and those do not go into the blood stream and therefore can not be measured. So, things look good as of now. I am supposed to schedule an ultrasound on Thursday or Friday this week. Still trying to figure out how and when to do that since I have a busy work week. I will keep you all updated!

2nd Beta Results are in!

I survived the 7am dr. appointment with all 3 kids this morning for my 2nd blood draw. Of course the office was packed this time and we had to wait 20 minutes before I was called back but luckily the kids behaved really well. It was great to watch Carson and Gavin's eyes go wide when they watched the needle go in me. I love that they think I am a strong, brave mommy!

Today's numbers were 959 which means they doubled faster than the recommended 48 hour doubling rate. My doubling rate is currently at every 36.99 hours. (Thank god for the internet because that math would have taken me all day to figure out!)

Now we wait again and head back for yet another blood draw on Monday morning. I am starting to dislike getting pricked so many times. I have still do not have clearance for exercise or other "extra curricular" activities but hopefully by Monday we will get the AOK. This rear needs some serious spin class attention fast!

Beta results are in!

I had my blood test yesterday morning and finally got the call at 2:15 yesterday afternoon with the news.

We are definitely pregnant! The beta number was 405. They told me anything over 25 is good. I was shocked to see it that high! After doing some research online today I found out the number I have is toward the higher median. Which basically means nothing. There are so many variations of Betas and I have seen them range from 3-1500 for a singleton on 11 days past the transfer.

I go back in on Friday morning at 7am for another blood test. I am worried about that appointment since I need to leave the house with 3 kids at 6:45 in the morning and drag them to the appointment with me. That is not going to be easy that early but that is my only option to get it done without missing work. I know I am going to feel guilty all morning though knowing how tired they are going to be! Early bed time tonight I guess.