Updates..........

Well, we are still waiting to hear an update from our attorney and IP's attorney regarding the insurance issue. Everyday I am hoping to get "the call" which will hopefully give us the ok to proceed. It seems like we are the only ones concerned with our insurance which maybe is a sign that means we can work through it. I hope so!!!! This journey is on my mind every minute of every day. I want to do it so bad and hope it will work out.

We are moving forward though with our appointments. Al and I both have our psych screening on Friday, 5/30 to make sure we are not crazy. :) I am looking forward to it since its a step closer to my dream. Please keep praying that everything will work out for us to proceed and to work with R & S.

P.S.- It is still so difficult that we haven't been able to talk to R & S at all since our initial meeting. I am dying to talk to them again and to hopefully get together again soon. I want them to meet our kids and we want to get to know them so much better. Hopefully soon!

Insurance issues!

I am freaking out and have been all weekend! Al did a web inquiry last week on the BCBS sight to make sure surrogacy would be covered and unfortunately, the call we received said it is not covered. There is nothing at all on the benefits plan specifically listing an exclusion for surrogacy however there is this horrible quote that says "the only things covered are listed in the plan. If its not listed, its not covered." So, I have this horrible feeling this is the way BCBS gets out of it. I am just sick about it! I want so bad for this to work out and I already have my heart set on our IP's. Our attorney says not to panic yet until she researches it more. I will just be absolutely devastated if this falls through before it even begins!!!!!!!!!

Doctor Visit Scheduled

Today I was able to finalize the medical screening appointment with Dr. M for both Al and I. Our appointment will be on Mon. 6/9 at 1pm. Prior to this appointment, we need to have the psyche screening done. I have to wait until Tuesday to arrange that appointment since the Dr. is on vacation. Hopefully most of these appointments will fall on my "off" days so I don't have to worry about missing work before we even begin the process! So many steps to take and so much to remember to do. Thank goodness we have a vacation planned for next month. We will need it!

Transfer Dates!

OMG! We got a call from Zara tonight and found out the transfer could occur anywhere between 8/23-9/4 if all things work out! Holy Cow! I am shocked it is moving this fast and am totally excited! I gave the "ok" to Zara that we are on board with that. What an exciting call!

Next Steps

After we verbally confirmed our commitment to work together we needed to get started on the next steps. I had to call both of my OB's to request my pregnancy and delivery records to be faxed or mailed to Zara and also needed record of my latest Pap Results from 06/07. Unfortunately, doctor's offices seem to drag their feet quite a bit so even though I called 3 days ago, we are still waiting for the forms. Once Zara receives my records, she will then forward them to the Fertility Dr.- Dr. M to review and approve me as a good candidate.

In the meantime, I had to select an attorney which I did. I chose a woman located about 40 minutes from us and seemed extremely helpful and knowledgeable over the phone. R & S have already selected their attorney and in fact have an appointment with her on Monday to start up the contract.

Once Dr. M gives us the go ahead, I need to make an appointment for Al and I at the psychologist to do our testing there.

I believe that is it for now. We are just waiting for more to happen so we can move forward.

The worst thing is we have not been able to talk to R & S since our dinner on Monday. The agency rule is to wait until all contracts are signed before we develop too close of a relationship and then hope that nothing falls through. I hate not talking or emailing them. I feel like we started off so great on Monday night at dinner and I want to continue getting to know them more. It's killing me! Well, I never did say I was a patient person.

Hopefully things will progress quickly for this part so we can start talking to R & S again.

The Match Meeting

On Monday, 5/12/08, Zara and the Intended Parents "R" and "S" met us for dinner at On the Border. I was sick to my stomach all day- most likely nerves but felt immediately better once we met them. They both seemed so nice and friendly and outgoing! It was like we were already friends with them. We spent an hour and a half together talking about everything we could in such a short amount of time. Zara was great to keep the conversation going and helped make all of us feel comfortable. The couple lives only about 30 minutes from us which is ideal. They are also hoping to have a very close relationship with their SM (Surrogate Mother) throughout the journey and long after. This is my ideal goal...... I really want to develop a friendship and strong bond that will last forever. I want to be able to get together alot during the pregnancy but more importantly after the baby arrives. I am not going to be psychotic about it- but I do want to see how the baby grows up periodically.

On the way home Al and I both agreed that we really liked R & S and that we couldn't find one negative thing about them so far. It really did seem surreal, or too good to be true. But then, I was worried that they didn't like us for some reason or they felt they wanted to move faster. I was consumed with so many thoughts that whole night and had nightmares that they didn't like us.

The next morning Zara called and told me they definitely want to work with us. What a relief! I already felt emotionally attached to them and knew I wanted to help create their family. I would have been devastated if it all fell through even before it began!

So, Zara confirmed "Congratulations, you are matched!"

WOW!

The Beginning.......

It is May 2008 and I have decided to start this blog to track the journey that we are about to begin. To start at the very beginning, I must tell you that when Morgan was born, I was told that we are "officially" done adding to our family. Al (my husband) was very adamant that we are complete now with two boys and a girl. After many discussions, I reluctantly agreed. I realized though how sad I was to know I would never be pregnant again and never go through labor again. I know, I am crazy to actually want to keep reliving the labor process but the emotional aspect of it by far out-weighs the physical.

So last fall, I decided to talk to Al about my dream to become a surrogate. I waited for the perfect time one evening when the kids were in bed so we could have a heart-to-heart talk over a glass of wine. I was terrified to bring it up since I had no idea what his reaction would be. Amazingly, he was not shocked at all about my request and was supportive right off the bat. I was thrilled! This is something I had thought of in the back of my mind for years but never thought it could actually happen. We have seen many close friends suffer through different levels of infertility and it really makes us count our blessings and for me- makes me want to give back in a way.

After many discussions with Al I decided to start my research online to educate myself and began reading endless personal stories and journals online from surrogates and IP's. (Intended Parents). My heart melted with each story and I knew this was something I not only wanted to do, but could do!

I found two agencies in IL that I was interested in. The first was Parenting Partners and the other was Family Source Consultants. I called both agencies and had a long conversation about surrogacy. Immediately, I felt the strongest bond with Zara with Family Source. Al and I ended up meeting Zara in person for lunch on Tuesday, 5/6/08 and we knew right then we wanted to work with her agency. We looked at a number of current IP profiles she had and there were a couple that we liked- but didn't love, mainly due to location. We were not in any rush so we basically decided to just hold off.

Two days later, Zara called to say she just received a call from new IP's and felt they were the ideal match for us. I couldn't believe it! We just met Zara two days ago and at this point we didn't even have our profile completed or any other steps taken to be accepted as a surrogate candidate. She said she told the couple about us and they were interested and wanted to see my profile. We completed the paperwork and sent it out on Friday. That day, we also received the profile for "R" (IM) and "S" (IF). The minute I opened it up, I knew I would love them! Their pictures were so darn cute and I felt terrible at all the losses they have been through within the past 2 years. So, next step was to meet in person.





Here are the 3 reasons this is so important to me! No one should ever be denied this bliss. :)